Wednesday, August 3, 2011
Tuesday, August 2, 2011
The Noose
"So glad to see you well, overcome them
Completely silent now
With heaven's help
You've cast your demons out
And not to pull your halo down
Around your neck and tug you off your cloud
But I'm more than just a little curious
How you're plannin' to go about makin' your amends
To the dead
To the dead
Recall the deeds as if they're all
Someone else's
Atrocious stories
Now you stand reborn
Before us all
So glad to see you well
And not to pull your halo down
Around your neck and tug you to the ground
But I'm more than just a little curious
How you're plannin' to go about makin' your amends
To the dead
To the dead
With your halo slippin' down
Your halo slippin'
Your halo slippin' down
Your halo slippin' down
Your halo slippin' down
(I'm more than just a little curious
How you're plannin' to go about makin' your amends)
Your halo slippin' down
Your halo's slippin' down to choke you now"-- A Perfect Circle
Just feeling this one today. The lyrics belong here, as this is one of my favorite songs.
Completely silent now
With heaven's help
You've cast your demons out
And not to pull your halo down
Around your neck and tug you off your cloud
But I'm more than just a little curious
How you're plannin' to go about makin' your amends
To the dead
To the dead
Recall the deeds as if they're all
Someone else's
Atrocious stories
Now you stand reborn
Before us all
So glad to see you well
And not to pull your halo down
Around your neck and tug you to the ground
But I'm more than just a little curious
How you're plannin' to go about makin' your amends
To the dead
To the dead
With your halo slippin' down
Your halo slippin'
Your halo slippin' down
Your halo slippin' down
Your halo slippin' down
(I'm more than just a little curious
How you're plannin' to go about makin' your amends)
Your halo slippin' down
Your halo's slippin' down to choke you now"-- A Perfect Circle
Just feeling this one today. The lyrics belong here, as this is one of my favorite songs.
Tuesday, July 19, 2011
Sweet Sin Couture
Here is the link to our Facebook: http://www.facebook.com/pages/Sweet-Sin-Couture/196501517034548
Here is a link to the Etsy Shop: http://www.etsy.com/shop/SweetSinCouture?ref=si_shop
Friday, July 1, 2011
Re: your lack of manners
If you haven't read the email.... this is the email that an evil mother in law, sent her new daughter-in-law to be. I still cannot get over it. Here are excerpts from the original email.
from: Carolyn Bourne
to: heidi withers
subject: your lack of manners
Here are a few examples of your lack of manners:
When you are a guest in another's house, you do not declare what you will and will not eat - unless you are positively allergic to something.
You do not remark that you do not have enough food.
You do not start before everyone else.
You do not take additional helpings without being invited to by your host.
When a guest in another's house, you do not lie in bed until late morning in households that rise early - you fall in line with house norms.
You should never ever insult the family you are about to join at any time and most definitely not in public. I gather you passed this off as a joke but the reaction in the pub was one of shock, not laughter.
You regularly draw attention to yourself. Perhaps you should ask yourself why. No one gets married in a castle unless they own it. It is brash, celebrity style behaviour.
I understand your parents are unable to contribute very much towards the cost of your wedding. (There is nothing wrong with that except that convention is such that one might presume they would have saved over the years for their daughters' marriages.)
If this is the case, it would be most ladylike and gracious to lower your sights and have a modest wedding as befits both your incomes.
One could be accused of thinking that Heidi Withers must be patting herself on the back for having caught a most eligible young man. I pity Freddie.
Now, if I had received that email.... my response would've been along the lines of:
from: heidi withers
to: Carolyn Bourne
subject: re: your lack of manners
When you have guests in your house, a host should be gracious, and make sure that they serve enough food for everyone
You do not remark that someone asked for food
You do not demand that someone else wait for you to start eating. Are you the king in the dark times? No. I sat, I'm eating my food. Shut up.
You don't complain about someone taking enough food to fill themselves. A good host would've prepared enough for everyone to share, and then doesn't complain about it
YOU should never insult the family that is about to join yours. I'm not sure if you noticed, but this entire email is a giant itemized insult- and poorly at that. Next time use bullet points.
When you have guests in your home, try not to get up at the ass crack of dawn and slam pans around. Some people are trying to get their beauty rest, and by the sounds if it - you aren't getting yours.
Don't complain about someone getting more attention than you. Especially someone far younger, nicer and prettier. It just makes you look like a hag.
I'm sorry that my family didn't save for their daughters wedding. In the future I'll remind them that they need to have a dowry. One complete with at least two mules, a pig, and a chicken. Next time... they won't have this problem.
I'll make sure to be "ladylike'' post haste, and have my wedding in a dumpster. It not only benefits my income, but at least you'll look good in the pictures against that background.
I'm definitely patting myself on the back for catching such a wonderful eligible man, and I'm glad to see he doesn't have PTSD or some other mental problems after having dealt with you.
See you at the wedding!! ;)
For complete news on this, go to: http://shine.yahoo.com/channel/sex/mother-in-law-sends-worst-email-ever-to-bride-forgivable-2504517/
from: Carolyn Bourne
to: heidi withers
subject: your lack of manners
Here are a few examples of your lack of manners:
When you are a guest in another's house, you do not declare what you will and will not eat - unless you are positively allergic to something.
You do not remark that you do not have enough food.
You do not start before everyone else.
You do not take additional helpings without being invited to by your host.
When a guest in another's house, you do not lie in bed until late morning in households that rise early - you fall in line with house norms.
You should never ever insult the family you are about to join at any time and most definitely not in public. I gather you passed this off as a joke but the reaction in the pub was one of shock, not laughter.
You regularly draw attention to yourself. Perhaps you should ask yourself why. No one gets married in a castle unless they own it. It is brash, celebrity style behaviour.
I understand your parents are unable to contribute very much towards the cost of your wedding. (There is nothing wrong with that except that convention is such that one might presume they would have saved over the years for their daughters' marriages.)
If this is the case, it would be most ladylike and gracious to lower your sights and have a modest wedding as befits both your incomes.
One could be accused of thinking that Heidi Withers must be patting herself on the back for having caught a most eligible young man. I pity Freddie.
Now, if I had received that email.... my response would've been along the lines of:
from: heidi withers
to: Carolyn Bourne
subject: re: your lack of manners
When you have guests in your house, a host should be gracious, and make sure that they serve enough food for everyone
You do not remark that someone asked for food
You do not demand that someone else wait for you to start eating. Are you the king in the dark times? No. I sat, I'm eating my food. Shut up.
You don't complain about someone taking enough food to fill themselves. A good host would've prepared enough for everyone to share, and then doesn't complain about it
YOU should never insult the family that is about to join yours. I'm not sure if you noticed, but this entire email is a giant itemized insult- and poorly at that. Next time use bullet points.
When you have guests in your home, try not to get up at the ass crack of dawn and slam pans around. Some people are trying to get their beauty rest, and by the sounds if it - you aren't getting yours.
Don't complain about someone getting more attention than you. Especially someone far younger, nicer and prettier. It just makes you look like a hag.
I'm sorry that my family didn't save for their daughters wedding. In the future I'll remind them that they need to have a dowry. One complete with at least two mules, a pig, and a chicken. Next time... they won't have this problem.
I'll make sure to be "ladylike'' post haste, and have my wedding in a dumpster. It not only benefits my income, but at least you'll look good in the pictures against that background.
I'm definitely patting myself on the back for catching such a wonderful eligible man, and I'm glad to see he doesn't have PTSD or some other mental problems after having dealt with you.
See you at the wedding!! ;)
For complete news on this, go to: http://shine.yahoo.com/channel/sex/mother-in-law-sends-worst-email-ever-to-bride-forgivable-2504517/
Saturday, May 21, 2011
Some of Them Want to be Abused
*This story was inspired by, and written in an attempt to coordinate with the song that SHOULD be playing on your speakers. There is little correlation with the lyrics... it's just the feeling and mood of the music itself. If you read it at the right speed, it should be awesome.
She left him smoking on the bed, and threw him his pants and shoes before dashing to the bathroom only to rest her knees on the cool linoleum just in time, losing more than just her lunch in that moment. She managed to find a split second to reach back and push the door closed behind her. Tears came quickly after; light at first, followed by what would feel like a heavy stream running the length of her defined face only to become a puddle on the cheap motel-room floor. She had never been so sick, so tired, so used up in her life. Her eyes closed tightly, and her body jumped as she heard the front door close in the main room. A comfort short lived.
Picking herself up to her feet, she looked in the mirror only to realize she didn't know the person staring back at her anymore; what had she let herself become? She wiped the smeared mascara from beneath her eyes with a damp square of one-ply, then began scrubbing at the dry, cracked lipstick remaining on her lips; slowly at first, then harder and with a roughness not originally intended. Feeling the sobs pushing to escape her chest she was unable to suppress it any longer... she let out a loud cry, dropping again to her knees as her back arched in pain and her lips curled in sorrow. The pain quickly gave birth to rage, which she felt churning in her stomach as it began to run course through her entire body until she could feel it in her fingertips... begging for release.
She wrapped her fingers tightly around the edge of the brushed nickel garbage can on the floor next to the sink and hurled it into the already scratched and worn mirror mounted above the sink... watching it shatter and careen to the floor in varied shapes and sizes. A moment of relief washed over her, and she turned her knob on the door and changed her focus to the room before her. So much pain, and lost innocence inside these four walls. This is not the first afternoon she had spent in the under-priced rat-shack off the county road.
She picked up her fishnets and panties that were left in a ball by the the foot of the bed, ripped the comforter and cheap cotton sheets from the mattress and tossed them to the carpet. Dialing in on the fake brass lamp, she whipped it up in a fury and hurled towards the TV, watching it shatter the screen like a Faberge Egg before taking her right arm and pushing it from atop the dresser and letting it crash to the outdated carpet to become a pile of trash. She left the hundred dollar bill crumpled up on the night stand, threw her worn heels and the rest of her things in her over-sized bag and opened the door.
The evening light caught her off guard, as she paused a moment to lift her hand to shade her eyes and glance toward the lot of the run-down hotel. His car was gone, but she knew with certainty where her top customer would be found at this hour.
She slipped on her cheap, worn-out heels and began to walk the length of the parking-lot, and skipped quickly across the road to the old Saloon style bar where the men in the small town went to forget about their over-priced homes and well planned families to drown themselves in a bottle. Best place of business for a working girl in this town, and as it approached late evening this was the height of business for the bar as well as the patrons.
The door-man let her in quickly, holding the door as she passed through. She was known here...a "regular": an empty shell and good for business. Walking through the entry way she was able to spot him easily... sitting at his usual corner table in the back with a scotch on the rocks in one hand and a cigarette in the other throwing unwanted advances to his young "Polyanna" styled waitress. She watched from across the bar as the waitress smiled, and gently nodded while trying to make a polite escape.
Ignoring cat-calls from the bar patrons as she passed by them, she made her way quickly to the back of the bar, and his corner table. Despite the dimly-lit and smoke filled atmosphere, he saw her quickly as she approached and offered a sadistic grin. When she got to the table he motioned for her to sit on his lap by turning slightly out to the side and patting his legs with a gentleness unknown to her, just as he does most nights. She usually complies without incident.
Tonight she looked back at him straight-faced, and stood in silence a moment. Her palms began to moisten which she combated by balling them up until her knuckles turned white. He quickly reached his arm out to grab her, but she stepped back slightly with her other foot and slipped her hand into her purse, pulling it out to expose an old black revolver which she lifted at point blank range and rested against his forehead. As he froze, she lightly smiled back at him... with the same sadistic smile he had offered her so many times. One breath in, followed by one breath out.... and she pulled the trigger.
The room fell immediately silent until panic set in a split second later. It started with confusion and was accompanied quickly by screams of terror, growing quickly to a roar. Despite the excitement welling all around her, she was unmoved. She watched his fingers lose grip and his half-smoked cigarette fell to the cheap pleather covered bench of the booth as the rest of his body fell limp.
People began quickly running to the one exit in the small establishment. Glasses dropped and shattered; some were hiding beneath the cheap tables; not a rational soul for miles. She stood, un-wavered, until every sign of life was drained from him. Gripping the pistol tightly in her hand she had tuned out the chaos around her and gave her full attention in this moment, still smiling wildly....
*In my head this is all slow-mo and grainy and black and white and awesome. I hope it was portrayed appropriately :)
She left him smoking on the bed, and threw him his pants and shoes before dashing to the bathroom only to rest her knees on the cool linoleum just in time, losing more than just her lunch in that moment. She managed to find a split second to reach back and push the door closed behind her. Tears came quickly after; light at first, followed by what would feel like a heavy stream running the length of her defined face only to become a puddle on the cheap motel-room floor. She had never been so sick, so tired, so used up in her life. Her eyes closed tightly, and her body jumped as she heard the front door close in the main room. A comfort short lived.
Picking herself up to her feet, she looked in the mirror only to realize she didn't know the person staring back at her anymore; what had she let herself become? She wiped the smeared mascara from beneath her eyes with a damp square of one-ply, then began scrubbing at the dry, cracked lipstick remaining on her lips; slowly at first, then harder and with a roughness not originally intended. Feeling the sobs pushing to escape her chest she was unable to suppress it any longer... she let out a loud cry, dropping again to her knees as her back arched in pain and her lips curled in sorrow. The pain quickly gave birth to rage, which she felt churning in her stomach as it began to run course through her entire body until she could feel it in her fingertips... begging for release.
She wrapped her fingers tightly around the edge of the brushed nickel garbage can on the floor next to the sink and hurled it into the already scratched and worn mirror mounted above the sink... watching it shatter and careen to the floor in varied shapes and sizes. A moment of relief washed over her, and she turned her knob on the door and changed her focus to the room before her. So much pain, and lost innocence inside these four walls. This is not the first afternoon she had spent in the under-priced rat-shack off the county road.
She picked up her fishnets and panties that were left in a ball by the the foot of the bed, ripped the comforter and cheap cotton sheets from the mattress and tossed them to the carpet. Dialing in on the fake brass lamp, she whipped it up in a fury and hurled towards the TV, watching it shatter the screen like a Faberge Egg before taking her right arm and pushing it from atop the dresser and letting it crash to the outdated carpet to become a pile of trash. She left the hundred dollar bill crumpled up on the night stand, threw her worn heels and the rest of her things in her over-sized bag and opened the door.
The evening light caught her off guard, as she paused a moment to lift her hand to shade her eyes and glance toward the lot of the run-down hotel. His car was gone, but she knew with certainty where her top customer would be found at this hour.
She slipped on her cheap, worn-out heels and began to walk the length of the parking-lot, and skipped quickly across the road to the old Saloon style bar where the men in the small town went to forget about their over-priced homes and well planned families to drown themselves in a bottle. Best place of business for a working girl in this town, and as it approached late evening this was the height of business for the bar as well as the patrons.
The door-man let her in quickly, holding the door as she passed through. She was known here...a "regular": an empty shell and good for business. Walking through the entry way she was able to spot him easily... sitting at his usual corner table in the back with a scotch on the rocks in one hand and a cigarette in the other throwing unwanted advances to his young "Polyanna" styled waitress. She watched from across the bar as the waitress smiled, and gently nodded while trying to make a polite escape.
Ignoring cat-calls from the bar patrons as she passed by them, she made her way quickly to the back of the bar, and his corner table. Despite the dimly-lit and smoke filled atmosphere, he saw her quickly as she approached and offered a sadistic grin. When she got to the table he motioned for her to sit on his lap by turning slightly out to the side and patting his legs with a gentleness unknown to her, just as he does most nights. She usually complies without incident.
Tonight she looked back at him straight-faced, and stood in silence a moment. Her palms began to moisten which she combated by balling them up until her knuckles turned white. He quickly reached his arm out to grab her, but she stepped back slightly with her other foot and slipped her hand into her purse, pulling it out to expose an old black revolver which she lifted at point blank range and rested against his forehead. As he froze, she lightly smiled back at him... with the same sadistic smile he had offered her so many times. One breath in, followed by one breath out.... and she pulled the trigger.
The room fell immediately silent until panic set in a split second later. It started with confusion and was accompanied quickly by screams of terror, growing quickly to a roar. Despite the excitement welling all around her, she was unmoved. She watched his fingers lose grip and his half-smoked cigarette fell to the cheap pleather covered bench of the booth as the rest of his body fell limp.
People began quickly running to the one exit in the small establishment. Glasses dropped and shattered; some were hiding beneath the cheap tables; not a rational soul for miles. She stood, un-wavered, until every sign of life was drained from him. Gripping the pistol tightly in her hand she had tuned out the chaos around her and gave her full attention in this moment, still smiling wildly....
*In my head this is all slow-mo and grainy and black and white and awesome. I hope it was portrayed appropriately :)
Monday, May 16, 2011
My Cheap Thrills
Okay, so we all know that I don't believe in the saying, "money can't buy happiness" because nothing would make me happier right now than being financially stable, but that doesn't mean that you can't find cheap, or even free fun things to do. This isn't along the lines of anything I would normally post, but I thought this was worth sharing.
I read an article the other day about money mistakes that we commonly pass on to our children. While most of the article was lack-luster, there was one thing that stuck out to me. There was a point made about teaching your children to enjoy time spent together rather than money spent together, in hopes that it won't teach children to equate spending money to being happy.
I thought it was a great idea to try these things on my own and ever since I read that article I've been making a conscious effort to focus on these things with my kids... plus, with the economy the way it is.... a lot of us are getting cabin fever lately. Luckily the weather is getting better so there will be more things we can do in SLC without having to spend dough.
Here are a few things I've found to help me with this, and maybe it will help you all as well.
Great fun stuff to do that will get you outdoors.
Ideas of things you can do shacked up at home. (Really, more for kids than for adults)
I read an article the other day about money mistakes that we commonly pass on to our children. While most of the article was lack-luster, there was one thing that stuck out to me. There was a point made about teaching your children to enjoy time spent together rather than money spent together, in hopes that it won't teach children to equate spending money to being happy.
I thought it was a great idea to try these things on my own and ever since I read that article I've been making a conscious effort to focus on these things with my kids... plus, with the economy the way it is.... a lot of us are getting cabin fever lately. Luckily the weather is getting better so there will be more things we can do in SLC without having to spend dough.
Here are a few things I've found to help me with this, and maybe it will help you all as well.
Great fun stuff to do that will get you outdoors.
- Whether you are a family with many kids, or a family of you and your significant other... everyone loves flying kites. If you don't already have a kite, you can get a cheap one at the store for a couple dollars this time of year and they're usually good to use through the entire summer season. All you need is some wind and a good park.
- Swimming!! I'm not suggesting to go pay a bunch of money to swim at a country club or community center. We all know someone who lives at an apartment or condo, and if they're good friends they will usually be happy to take you swimming with them. Not only is it fun, but it's good exercise for adults and kids as well.
- Frisbee Golfing. If you have discs, this is free to you. If not, you can usually get discs at "play it again sports" for very cheap, and you can use these for years to come. I think my husband has had this for three or four years. There are a couple different parks in SLC with frolf courses (you can google them if you wish). This is a great alternative to golfing, which is a really spendy hobby.
- One thing I really enjoy in late spring/early summer is hiking. There are a lot of free areas to hike, and then there are some that ask you to pay to use the trails. Usually the cost is under ten dollars for these areas. We have great mountains here that other states do not. Make the best out of them. There are also a couple parks with wetlands, and trails. There is no incline to speak of, so these should be easy for younger kids. I know there is one in Draper right by Alta high school, and another off 7th called Woodstock Park. These are great for scenic walks.
- and on the note of hiking is camping. Usually this is better to do closer to summertime. If you want to stay close to home there are a few pay-sites right up the canyon. About the quarter (or less) the cost of a hotel room. Up Little Cottonwood Canyon there is a great little spot called "Tanner Flats" and then there is also "Spruces." Other than that, there are a lot of little known, great and FREE spots not too far out. You can google these.
- Twilight Concert Series. Once a week, for almost the entire summer SLC does a free concert series (last year it was at pioneer park, not sure if that's how it always is). Some of the bands are really awesome... some are only so/so, but it's free music and a lot of fun!
- There are also a lot of fun tours you can take and historic buildings you can take a tour of for free. I know that the Armstrong Mansion does daily walk-throughs. If there is a historic downtown building you want to go through, sometimes you can call for tours. They will do them for free (usually).
Ideas of things you can do shacked up at home. (Really, more for kids than for adults)
- Movie Night - I know this isn't the most fun ever... but you can make it more fun by making some cheap snacks, setting up the living-room theater style... make an event of it.
- Game Night - Kids love games. This one it really a no-brainer, but it's better than huddling around repeats of CSI.
- Salon Day - My daughter and I just did this one actually. We did our hair, and our nails, and put on make-up, got all dressed up and took some cute pictures. She had a lot of fun, and I bet those of you with younger girls might enjoy this.
- Scavenger Hunts - Give your kids a list of things to find around the house. If nothing else, it might serve you with some peace and quiet, or "adult time," especially if they are old enough to send outside.
- Clark Planetarium - Most exhibits are free. The cooler ones usually come at a small cost.
- Tracy Aviary - Small cost of 7 per adult. Less for children, and kids under 2 are FREE!
- Hogle Zoo - a little more pricey- 9 per adult, and 7 for kids. Under 2 are free here as well.
- Living Planet Aquarium - Same cost as the zoo, but it's indoors so it's great for a super hot day. Plus, kids love it.
- Red Butte Garden - Lots of trails, gardens, activities. I've actually never been here, but I would love to make it this summer. I've heard it's amazing. 8 per adult, 6 for kids. Three and under FREE!!
- Groupon - http://www.groupon.com/salt-lake-city/?utm_campaign=Search&utm_medium=cpc&utm_source=Google&utm_term=groupon. Here you can buy what would be a gift certificate for about half price. Buy them when you have cash, save them, and use them later.
- Living Social - http://livingsocial.com/cities/78-salt-lake-city/confirm?ref=broader_roadblock&skippable=true&ver=972. They offer one day deals. Check it daily. Might find something great to help you out!
Wednesday, March 30, 2011
My Misadventurous Spectacular Evening
About a year ago, I purchased tickets to the Lady Gaga concert, and had spent an entire year looking forward to this day. Not only is she one of my favorite musical artists... but she is also a very inspiring woman, that uses her podium of fame to support many causes that are very important to me... (and not a member of the Illuminati, so get a grip conspiracy theorists).
Anyway... to make a long story short, what should've been a clearly amazing perfect night, turned into one of the the most imperfect, ridiculous stories of my life. I had a great time, don't get me wrong, but if I were to add a young romance into this scenario it could have been one of those teen, misadventure movies. Now, to make a short story long, I'll go ahead and tell this story out for you in it's entirety :)
THE ORIGINAL PLANS:
My friend's Ashley and Renee got tickets to go with me to this awesome show about a year ago, and have spent the last year getting increasingly more excited for it.
My friend Ashley actually ended up getting a seat with another friend of hers and sold her ticket to my friend Monica, who said she wanted to go but didn't have anyone to go with. I held onto all three tickets for safe keeping.
Us five girls decided to make an epic ladies night out of this and rent a limo for transport-have a few drinks at Ashley's prior to the show-and make use of our own traveling bar for an hour. Then we watch the show, and have my friend's boyfriend pick us all up from the venue and take us back to our car. Should've been perfect, right?
WHAT ACTUALLY HAPPENED:
After much frustration in finding a limo (thanks husband for working this one out), and stressing about what I was going to wear (which I've never experienced going to a concert before), I was finally dressed and ready to go. We planned to be to Ashley's about an hour before the limo arrived in order to get a good amount of pre-game action in. I was picking up Monica and Renee to decrease the amount of people driving.
On my way to Renee's house, I got about half way there only to realize I left all my money at home, so I had to turn around and go get it. Instead of the hour we intended to spend at Ashley's we only ended up with about twenty minutes. Don't get me wrong, we made these twenty minutes count by taking lots of shots! Monica and I went in on a bottle of Jim Beam, so we ended up making a half and half two liter of Pepsi/Jim for the ride.
So, the limo picked us up... truly epic ride with drinks! Had a blast driving down to the venue- but this part was quite uneventful to be honest. It was fun, but it went off without a hitch. Let's continue to the dramatic conclusion.
The limo drops us off about the time that the doors opened for the show. The second we stepped out of the dimly lit limousine and felt the evening light on our faces, we realized how drunk we actually were! I stumbled out of the car, and proceeded to drop everything out of my purse onto the pavement. Luckily for me the driver was nice enough to help me get all my belongings back into my purse. Ashley and her friend went up to their seats, and Renee and I decided to stay out, have a cigarette and finish our drink before going in. Monica ran in to use the restroom, so I gave her a ticket to do so. When Renee and I were done smoking we decided to follow.
We got up to the door and Renee asked me for her ticket, which I provided... and then realized... I had no more tickets in my purse.
PANIC ENSUES:
We called in to Monica immediately to see if it was possible I handed her two tickets instead of one when she went in. After rifling through her purse she told us she had two tickets, and was meeting us at the door. Once we got up there, however, she realized that one of the things she was looking at was in fact tickets to something else entirely. I finally just told them to go into their seats and I would figure out what to do about my lost ticket (although I was far too drunk to be figuring anything out, by myself, downtown, in unfamiliar territory).
So... I go sit back down on some of the benches in front of the venue and drunk around for a few minutes (how long I actually did this is a mystery to me), before calling my husband.
Me: Hey, I don't have my ticket is it at home?
Husband: Are you kidding?
Me: No, I really don't have my ticket.
Husband: Well if it's here you have the car, what am I supposed to do?
Me: I don't know. Will you call the limo company and see if it was in the limo?
Husband: The number is in your phone.
**crickets**
Me: Will you call the limo company and see if it was in the limo?
Husband: Ok, I'll call you back.
So, I sat there, smoked a few cigarettes... husband calls back.
Husband: They said you dropped your purse in the road and all your stuff fell out?
Me: Yes
Husband: They said they didn't see it anywhere
Me: What am I supposed to do?
Husband: I don't know, how are you not crying? Are you drunk?
Me: No... not really. <--which at the time seemed correct, but obviously was not.
**Queue frantic tears**
Me: I just really wanted to see Lady Gaga!!
Husband: I'll look in your email to see if I can find your confirmation, you go talk to someone
Me: Who do I talk to? I can't get in the doors
Husband: Go talk to the door people.
Me: There are no door people, just people blocking the doors so you can't get in.
Husband: Those are door people, go ask them what you can do.
Me: Ok.
So, I hung up the phone with my husband, went and spoke to the "door people" who let me know that I can go downstairs and talk to the ticket booth. They might be able to do something to help me. So, I went down some stairs (which I'm shocked I didn't fall down because I was drunk in six inch heels) and went in the door. I put on my sober face and tried to ask the guy who to talk to. He sent me to one window, who told me if I had the original card number they may be able to look it up, but I need to go wait in another line, to talk to another window.
I made it to the other line, which was huge. Stood there, by my lonely forever and finally made it to a window. I spoke to the lady at the window who was able to look up my tickets by my name and print me a new one. Crises avoided!!! Yay!
HUSBAND SIDE STORY:
So, after I spoke to my husband, he spent a good half an hour digging through my email to locate the said confirmation email. He found it, and immediately tried calling me back. While my phone never rang, he tried calling me multiple times, and calling everyone completely freaking out because he had no idea what was going on, or where I was. I did text him letting him know I got in alright, but apparently my text got sucked into the cell-phone black hole of the venue. He was pretty pissed.
END SIDE STORY.
So, my seats are in the nose bleeds (best I could afford) so I begin the trek to my seats. Those that know me, know this type of situation is not my strong suit. I hate large venues, and I hate crowds. I didn't know my way around the venue, and was not in my stair climbing shoes. I had to climb six flights of stairs to get up to my seats, but I did make it. I missed the entire opening act... but as long as I caught the main show - I was happy.
The concert itself was epic. One of the best shows I've seen in my life and I've seen a ton of concerts. Worth the trouble. I laughed, I cried, I danced my ass off and all that. Great time, sorry to those of you that missed it.
So the concert ends... and we decide to go out to meet Ashley and her friend to catch our ride. We're all tired at this point and ready to call it a night. We make it out to the benches, which are soaking wet at this point. It's springtime in Utah, which means snow and rain and freezing cold temperatures. None of us dressed for this weather obviously. We're all in skirts and heels. We wait, and wait.... and wait... No Ashley. We're freezing cold at this point so I start calling her, but cannot get a hold of her. So I blew up her phone, hoping to get a hold of her. No answer. This continued for about twenty minutes.
PANIC ENSUES YET AGAIN:
The three of us go back in the breezeway, and I call super husband yet again.
Me: Hey, have you heard from Ashley?
Husband: No... why?
Me: Well we've been sitting out here for about twenty minutes and I can't see her anywhere.
Husband: What do you want me to do?
Me: I don't know... will you try calling her? Or call her boyfriend?
Husband: Yeah, I'll see what I can do and call you back.
Sooo we wait, and wait... and wait. I finally walked back in and asked the first person I could find if there was a first aid station because I couldn't think of any other reason I wasn't able to find my friend. I walked around for awhile trying to find my missing friend... to no avail. Finally, Renee pokes her head in and hollers for me, letting me know that husband has just called back. Apparently Ashley had too much fun pre-gaming and had to be picked up early, missing the show entirely. My husband had finally got a hold of her boyfriend who was now coming down to pick us up... so we wait, and wait.... and wait. The problem then became that I didn't know what his car looked like, and we weren't able to get a hold of him on the phone because we didn't have his number. After another twenty minutes or so, standing in the freezing cold we finally concede and call a cab.
ASHLEY AND FRIEND SIDE STORY:
So... apparently after the opening act, her friend decided she needed to go to the restroom. On the way there my friend Ashley realized she was wayyyy too drunk. I'm not sure if she got sick, or what happened, but he friend had to call her boyfriend for her and have him come get her. Her friend made sure that she got in the car ok, and we're not really certain what happened to her friend. My understanding is that her friend didn't stay for the show either. She had a man-friend of hers come pick her up. In her drunken state... the nice gentleman left her at a gas station in the middle of nowhere with no money, no cards, no driver's license... she had to call and get a ride home from her dad. Sucks right?
END SIDE STORY.
Anyway, back to me. I cannot explain the amount of relief I felt finally getting into the cab either. It was like a giant weight was lifted. We were on our way back to Ashley's to get my car. I'm pretty much sober after all this excitement and just can't wait to get my friends home, myself home, and climb in bed. Of course, as soon as we are half way down the road my husband calls and let's me know that my friend's boyfriend is there to get us.... of course. Luckily he was understanding that we were in a cab on our way back to his house.
So, we finally get back to Point A. We grab our stuff from inside the apartment, and run back to my car, giving it a moment to warm up. We're all freezing cold and it's snowing balls. We just wanted to get the hell out of there so we start commuting back to my friend's respective locations.
Most of the drive is uneventful at best.... until we get about a quarter mile from Renee's house, when I hit the biggest puddle I've ever hit in my car, my car sucks up the water and kills out... in the middle of a very busy downtown intersection. I try several times to get my car to start, but cannot seem to get it to turn over.
Three girls, in "night on the town" outfits, stuck in the middle of the intersection, in the snow... late on a Saturday night.
PANIC FOR THE THIRD TIME:
My husband had this problem with the car not long before this, so I have Renee call him this time, because I'm busy freaking out.
Renee: Hey, Ashley wants to know how long it took you to get the car started after it stalled out the other day? Yeah? Ok, hang on.
He wants to talk to you
**Hands me the phone**
Me: Hello?
Husband: Ok, what's going on?
Me: We're stalled out in the middle of the intersection.
Husband: Are you still drunk?
Me: No, but I certainly don't want someone pulling over to question my sobriety either.
Husband: Ok, well I don't really know what to tell you, you're just going to have to wait for the car to dry out.
Me: Okay... I'll just try to figure out how to get it out of the road
Renee and Monica, at this point, get out to push the car. I throw it in neutral. Now, this is really a site to see. Monica is in six inch heels and a mini-dress, and Renee's outfit is not much less awkward for this situation, and it's snowing. They start to push the car when some guy comes around the corner, and hollers out: "Do you guys need some help," ya think? Do you not see what is going on here? Monica hollers back to him a very firm "Yes," and luckily the nice guy pulls his car over and jumps out to help. We finally get it to the side of the road, which of course is a "no parking" zone. We are really close to Renee's at this point so she runs home, letting us know that we are welcome to come to her house if we cannot get it started.
Monica and I sit in the car awhile longer, before I decide I should open the hood. I jump out open the hood and mess with my distributor cap (I don't know what the hell I'm doing, but it feels better than doing nothing!). I jump back in my car, give it a try, and was able to start it up immediately. Yay!!
So, after this I drop Monica back off at her house, and make my way slowly and carefully home. Couldn't be more happy to be home at this point, and I'm pretty sure my husband was glad to have me home after my fifty million panicked phone calls home.
THE NEXT DAY:
So, the next morning, obviously exhausted still... and sore in all sorts of muscles I never use... I'm sitting out on my porch enjoying a cigarette, when I get a call from Renee.
Me: Hey
Renee: Hey, what's up?
Me: Not much, just smoking outside.
Renee: Ok, well... promise you won't be pissed at me?
**raises eyebrow**
Me: Yeah.....?
Renee: I got home last night, and went to put my pajamas on. When I took off my bra, your ticket fell out.
Me: HAHAHAHA..HA.hahah.... haaaa....
Renee: I guess I asked for my ticket twice...
Me: Yeah, but I gave it to you twice... so.... not really your fault.
So, in conclusion, anything that can go wrong, will go wrong. Still, had the time of my life. Great show, amazing friends, couldn't ask for much more. Memorable for sure. ;)
Anyway... to make a long story short, what should've been a clearly amazing perfect night, turned into one of the the most imperfect, ridiculous stories of my life. I had a great time, don't get me wrong, but if I were to add a young romance into this scenario it could have been one of those teen, misadventure movies. Now, to make a short story long, I'll go ahead and tell this story out for you in it's entirety :)
THE ORIGINAL PLANS:
My friend's Ashley and Renee got tickets to go with me to this awesome show about a year ago, and have spent the last year getting increasingly more excited for it.
My friend Ashley actually ended up getting a seat with another friend of hers and sold her ticket to my friend Monica, who said she wanted to go but didn't have anyone to go with. I held onto all three tickets for safe keeping.
Us five girls decided to make an epic ladies night out of this and rent a limo for transport-have a few drinks at Ashley's prior to the show-and make use of our own traveling bar for an hour. Then we watch the show, and have my friend's boyfriend pick us all up from the venue and take us back to our car. Should've been perfect, right?
WHAT ACTUALLY HAPPENED:
After much frustration in finding a limo (thanks husband for working this one out), and stressing about what I was going to wear (which I've never experienced going to a concert before), I was finally dressed and ready to go. We planned to be to Ashley's about an hour before the limo arrived in order to get a good amount of pre-game action in. I was picking up Monica and Renee to decrease the amount of people driving.
On my way to Renee's house, I got about half way there only to realize I left all my money at home, so I had to turn around and go get it. Instead of the hour we intended to spend at Ashley's we only ended up with about twenty minutes. Don't get me wrong, we made these twenty minutes count by taking lots of shots! Monica and I went in on a bottle of Jim Beam, so we ended up making a half and half two liter of Pepsi/Jim for the ride.
So, the limo picked us up... truly epic ride with drinks! Had a blast driving down to the venue- but this part was quite uneventful to be honest. It was fun, but it went off without a hitch. Let's continue to the dramatic conclusion.
The limo drops us off about the time that the doors opened for the show. The second we stepped out of the dimly lit limousine and felt the evening light on our faces, we realized how drunk we actually were! I stumbled out of the car, and proceeded to drop everything out of my purse onto the pavement. Luckily for me the driver was nice enough to help me get all my belongings back into my purse. Ashley and her friend went up to their seats, and Renee and I decided to stay out, have a cigarette and finish our drink before going in. Monica ran in to use the restroom, so I gave her a ticket to do so. When Renee and I were done smoking we decided to follow.
We got up to the door and Renee asked me for her ticket, which I provided... and then realized... I had no more tickets in my purse.
PANIC ENSUES:
We called in to Monica immediately to see if it was possible I handed her two tickets instead of one when she went in. After rifling through her purse she told us she had two tickets, and was meeting us at the door. Once we got up there, however, she realized that one of the things she was looking at was in fact tickets to something else entirely. I finally just told them to go into their seats and I would figure out what to do about my lost ticket (although I was far too drunk to be figuring anything out, by myself, downtown, in unfamiliar territory).
So... I go sit back down on some of the benches in front of the venue and drunk around for a few minutes (how long I actually did this is a mystery to me), before calling my husband.
Me: Hey, I don't have my ticket is it at home?
Husband: Are you kidding?
Me: No, I really don't have my ticket.
Husband: Well if it's here you have the car, what am I supposed to do?
Me: I don't know. Will you call the limo company and see if it was in the limo?
Husband: The number is in your phone.
**crickets**
Me: Will you call the limo company and see if it was in the limo?
Husband: Ok, I'll call you back.
So, I sat there, smoked a few cigarettes... husband calls back.
Husband: They said you dropped your purse in the road and all your stuff fell out?
Me: Yes
Husband: They said they didn't see it anywhere
Me: What am I supposed to do?
Husband: I don't know, how are you not crying? Are you drunk?
Me: No... not really. <--which at the time seemed correct, but obviously was not.
**Queue frantic tears**
Me: I just really wanted to see Lady Gaga!!
Husband: I'll look in your email to see if I can find your confirmation, you go talk to someone
Me: Who do I talk to? I can't get in the doors
Husband: Go talk to the door people.
Me: There are no door people, just people blocking the doors so you can't get in.
Husband: Those are door people, go ask them what you can do.
Me: Ok.
So, I hung up the phone with my husband, went and spoke to the "door people" who let me know that I can go downstairs and talk to the ticket booth. They might be able to do something to help me. So, I went down some stairs (which I'm shocked I didn't fall down because I was drunk in six inch heels) and went in the door. I put on my sober face and tried to ask the guy who to talk to. He sent me to one window, who told me if I had the original card number they may be able to look it up, but I need to go wait in another line, to talk to another window.
I made it to the other line, which was huge. Stood there, by my lonely forever and finally made it to a window. I spoke to the lady at the window who was able to look up my tickets by my name and print me a new one. Crises avoided!!! Yay!
HUSBAND SIDE STORY:
So, after I spoke to my husband, he spent a good half an hour digging through my email to locate the said confirmation email. He found it, and immediately tried calling me back. While my phone never rang, he tried calling me multiple times, and calling everyone completely freaking out because he had no idea what was going on, or where I was. I did text him letting him know I got in alright, but apparently my text got sucked into the cell-phone black hole of the venue. He was pretty pissed.
END SIDE STORY.
So, my seats are in the nose bleeds (best I could afford) so I begin the trek to my seats. Those that know me, know this type of situation is not my strong suit. I hate large venues, and I hate crowds. I didn't know my way around the venue, and was not in my stair climbing shoes. I had to climb six flights of stairs to get up to my seats, but I did make it. I missed the entire opening act... but as long as I caught the main show - I was happy.
The concert itself was epic. One of the best shows I've seen in my life and I've seen a ton of concerts. Worth the trouble. I laughed, I cried, I danced my ass off and all that. Great time, sorry to those of you that missed it.
So the concert ends... and we decide to go out to meet Ashley and her friend to catch our ride. We're all tired at this point and ready to call it a night. We make it out to the benches, which are soaking wet at this point. It's springtime in Utah, which means snow and rain and freezing cold temperatures. None of us dressed for this weather obviously. We're all in skirts and heels. We wait, and wait.... and wait... No Ashley. We're freezing cold at this point so I start calling her, but cannot get a hold of her. So I blew up her phone, hoping to get a hold of her. No answer. This continued for about twenty minutes.
PANIC ENSUES YET AGAIN:
The three of us go back in the breezeway, and I call super husband yet again.
Me: Hey, have you heard from Ashley?
Husband: No... why?
Me: Well we've been sitting out here for about twenty minutes and I can't see her anywhere.
Husband: What do you want me to do?
Me: I don't know... will you try calling her? Or call her boyfriend?
Husband: Yeah, I'll see what I can do and call you back.
Sooo we wait, and wait... and wait. I finally walked back in and asked the first person I could find if there was a first aid station because I couldn't think of any other reason I wasn't able to find my friend. I walked around for awhile trying to find my missing friend... to no avail. Finally, Renee pokes her head in and hollers for me, letting me know that husband has just called back. Apparently Ashley had too much fun pre-gaming and had to be picked up early, missing the show entirely. My husband had finally got a hold of her boyfriend who was now coming down to pick us up... so we wait, and wait.... and wait. The problem then became that I didn't know what his car looked like, and we weren't able to get a hold of him on the phone because we didn't have his number. After another twenty minutes or so, standing in the freezing cold we finally concede and call a cab.
ASHLEY AND FRIEND SIDE STORY:
So... apparently after the opening act, her friend decided she needed to go to the restroom. On the way there my friend Ashley realized she was wayyyy too drunk. I'm not sure if she got sick, or what happened, but he friend had to call her boyfriend for her and have him come get her. Her friend made sure that she got in the car ok, and we're not really certain what happened to her friend. My understanding is that her friend didn't stay for the show either. She had a man-friend of hers come pick her up. In her drunken state... the nice gentleman left her at a gas station in the middle of nowhere with no money, no cards, no driver's license... she had to call and get a ride home from her dad. Sucks right?
END SIDE STORY.
Anyway, back to me. I cannot explain the amount of relief I felt finally getting into the cab either. It was like a giant weight was lifted. We were on our way back to Ashley's to get my car. I'm pretty much sober after all this excitement and just can't wait to get my friends home, myself home, and climb in bed. Of course, as soon as we are half way down the road my husband calls and let's me know that my friend's boyfriend is there to get us.... of course. Luckily he was understanding that we were in a cab on our way back to his house.
So, we finally get back to Point A. We grab our stuff from inside the apartment, and run back to my car, giving it a moment to warm up. We're all freezing cold and it's snowing balls. We just wanted to get the hell out of there so we start commuting back to my friend's respective locations.
Most of the drive is uneventful at best.... until we get about a quarter mile from Renee's house, when I hit the biggest puddle I've ever hit in my car, my car sucks up the water and kills out... in the middle of a very busy downtown intersection. I try several times to get my car to start, but cannot seem to get it to turn over.
Three girls, in "night on the town" outfits, stuck in the middle of the intersection, in the snow... late on a Saturday night.
PANIC FOR THE THIRD TIME:
My husband had this problem with the car not long before this, so I have Renee call him this time, because I'm busy freaking out.
Renee: Hey, Ashley wants to know how long it took you to get the car started after it stalled out the other day? Yeah? Ok, hang on.
He wants to talk to you
**Hands me the phone**
Me: Hello?
Husband: Ok, what's going on?
Me: We're stalled out in the middle of the intersection.
Husband: Are you still drunk?
Me: No, but I certainly don't want someone pulling over to question my sobriety either.
Husband: Ok, well I don't really know what to tell you, you're just going to have to wait for the car to dry out.
Me: Okay... I'll just try to figure out how to get it out of the road
Renee and Monica, at this point, get out to push the car. I throw it in neutral. Now, this is really a site to see. Monica is in six inch heels and a mini-dress, and Renee's outfit is not much less awkward for this situation, and it's snowing. They start to push the car when some guy comes around the corner, and hollers out: "Do you guys need some help," ya think? Do you not see what is going on here? Monica hollers back to him a very firm "Yes," and luckily the nice guy pulls his car over and jumps out to help. We finally get it to the side of the road, which of course is a "no parking" zone. We are really close to Renee's at this point so she runs home, letting us know that we are welcome to come to her house if we cannot get it started.
Monica and I sit in the car awhile longer, before I decide I should open the hood. I jump out open the hood and mess with my distributor cap (I don't know what the hell I'm doing, but it feels better than doing nothing!). I jump back in my car, give it a try, and was able to start it up immediately. Yay!!
So, after this I drop Monica back off at her house, and make my way slowly and carefully home. Couldn't be more happy to be home at this point, and I'm pretty sure my husband was glad to have me home after my fifty million panicked phone calls home.
THE NEXT DAY:
So, the next morning, obviously exhausted still... and sore in all sorts of muscles I never use... I'm sitting out on my porch enjoying a cigarette, when I get a call from Renee.
Me: Hey
Renee: Hey, what's up?
Me: Not much, just smoking outside.
Renee: Ok, well... promise you won't be pissed at me?
**raises eyebrow**
Me: Yeah.....?
Renee: I got home last night, and went to put my pajamas on. When I took off my bra, your ticket fell out.
Me: HAHAHAHA..HA.hahah.... haaaa....
Renee: I guess I asked for my ticket twice...
Me: Yeah, but I gave it to you twice... so.... not really your fault.
So, in conclusion, anything that can go wrong, will go wrong. Still, had the time of my life. Great show, amazing friends, couldn't ask for much more. Memorable for sure. ;)
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