Releasssse

Nothing original here. Just thought I would share some of the most amazing lyrics ever written. Enjoy, or turn back here. I find them inspirational and amazing.

Inner breathlessness, outer restlessness
By the time I caught up to freedom I was out of breath
Grandma asked me what I'm running for
I guess I'm out for the same thing the sun is sunning for
What mothers birth their youngens for
And some say Jesus coming for
For all I know the earth is spinning slow
Suns at half mast 'cause masses ain't aglow
On bended knee, prostrate before an altered tree
I've made the forest suit me
Tables and chairs
Papers and prayers
Matter versus spirit
A metal ladder
A wooden cross
A plastic bottle of water
A mandala encased in glass
A spirit encased in flesh
Sound from shaped hollows
The thickest of mucus released from heightened passion
A man that cries in his sleep
A truth that has gone out of fashion
A mode of expression
A paint splattered wall
A carton of cigarettes
A bouquet of corpses
A dying forest
A nurtured garden
A privatized prison
A candle with a broken wick
A puddle that reflects the sun
A piece of paper with my name on it
I'm surrounded
I surrender
All
All that I am I have been
All I have been has been a long time coming
I am becoming all that I am
The spittle that surrounds the mouth-piece of the flute
Unheard, yet felt
A gathered wetness
A quiet moisture
Sound trapped in a bubble
Released into wind
Wind fellows and land merchants
We are history's detergent
Water soluble, light particles, articles of cleansing breath
Articles amending death
These words are not tools of communication
They are shards of metal
Dropped from eight story windows
They are waterfalls and gas leaks
Aged thoughts rolled in tobacco leaf
The tools of a trade
Barbers barred, barred of barters
Catch phrases and misunderstandings
But they are not what I feel when I am alone
Surrounded by everything and nothing
And there isn't a word or phrase to be caught
A verse to be recited
A man to de-fill my being in those moments
I am blankness, the contained center of an "O"
The pyramidic containment of an "A"
I stand in the middle of all that I have learned
All that I have memorized
All that I've known by heart
Unable to reach any of it
There is no sadness
There is no bliss
It is a forgotten memory
A memorable escape route that only is found by not looking
There, in the spine of the dictionary the words are worthless
They are a mere weight pressing against my thoughtlessness
But then, who else can speak of thoughtlessness with such confidence
Who else has learned to sling these ancient ideas
like dead rats held by their tails
so as not to infect this newly oiled skin
I can think of nothing heavier than an airplane
I can think of no greater conglomerate of steel and metal
I can think of nothing less likely to fly
There are no wings more weighted
I too have felt a heaviness
The stare of man guessing at my being
Yes I am homeless
A homeless man making offerings to the after-future
Sculpting rubber tree forests out of worn tires and shoe soles
A nation unified in exhale
A cloud of smoke
A native pipe ceremony
All the gathered cigarette butts piled in heaps
Snow covered mountains
Lipsticks smeared and shriveled
Offerings to an afterworld
Tattoo guns and plastic wrappers
Broken zippers and dead eyed dolls
It's all overwhelming me, oak and elming me
I have seeded a forest of myself
Little books from tall trees
It matters not what this paper be made of
Give me notebooks made of human flesh
Dried on steel hooks and nooses
Make uses of use, uses of us
It's all overwhelming me, oak and elming me
I have seeded a forest of myself
Little books from tall trees
On bended knee
Prostrate before an altered tree
I've made the forest suit me
Tables and chairs
Papers and prayers
Matter vs. spirit

--Saul Williams

My Eternal Disappointment

I am a member of the Mormon Church. I haven't been active, and would honestly declare myself an Athiest by today's standards, but I was baptized and am a member of record with this "religious organization."

As I've grown up, and learned to think on my own, form my own opinions, and learned to tell fact from fiction and opinion... I've decided that this belief structure is not for me. I'm not saying that Mormons are bad, or anything like that... I've met many wonderful people in my life that would identify themselves as Mormon, and are very active in the church. The great people I've met in this organization will forever be held dear to me, and the things they have done for myself and family will never be forgotten.

In the past couple of years I've reached my ultimate breaking point with the higher ranks of this "church." The other day, a very important man attached to this organization said some terribly hurtful things that I just cannot, and will not stand for.... and this coming on the heels of them inserting themselves into governmental procedures of another state? I do not wish to have my name attached to any such organization that would stand for, or support this kind of behavior. They have their right to speech and religion.... I have mine. I really have to say, shame on you. You preach love and understanding, but under that is cruel, misinformed hatred. I'm not mad, I'm just disappointed.

Here is a link to a few blogs and statements reflective of the quotes from this man's hurtful talk:

http://www.hrc.org/14955.htm
Here is a link to an open letter to the church that you can sign:

https://secure3.convio.net/hrc/site/Advocacy?cmd=display&page=UserAction&id=945

So, I will be resigning from the Church of Ladder-day Saints, along with my children as they may be considered to be 'members of record.' I know there are a lot of people equally as upset by this as I am, and feel the same. If you would like to be removed the link below will tell you how to do so, and what to anticipate during the removal process. Not asking anyone do the same of course, but if you are interested, here is a link to the information:

http://www.exmormon.org/remove.htm

My More Serious Note

So, any and all of my friends that read this should know that I am in 100% support of equal rights for all Americans. With that, is equal rights for the Gay and Lesbian community, although some would say otherwise.

The "Don't ask Don't Tell" (DADT) policy, brought into law in 1993 prohibits gay and lesbian individuals from serving openly in the military. If anyone knows that they are gay, they will be discharged from the military, regardless of years of service, stature or what they may have done for our country. This law, is enforced MOSTLY on the basis of gay profiling.... commanding officers have admitted in some cases to searching through emails, personal belongings, and contacting soldier's friends and families based on the assumption that a soldier may be gay or bi-sexual.

This year alone, over 400 gay soldiers have been discharged from the military under this policy, which is COMPLETELY unconstitutional, and (in my opinion) completely immoral and.... let's be honest... just plain FUCKED UP.

This is not to say that I would support and of my friends and family in joining the military, I don't believe in it.... that's another blog all together. However, I am saying that for those that serve to honor our country, and defend our freedom based on what they believe in... deserve the right to do so, regardless of their sexual orientation.

In closing, please call your Senators before Tuesday, and voice your support of repealing the DADT policy. Here in Utah, our Senators are Bob Bennet and Orrin Hatch. I have called BOTH offices and asked that my senators repeal this policy. If you do not know your senator, you can call the national switchboard, and they will transfer you accordingly. In order to do so, you can dial 202-224-3121.


Please support the repeal of this law. Call your Senator. Have a voice. Hate breeds hate. Stop the cycle.

My Loving Husband

I am so lucky to have the most wonderful man to live beside, and fall asleep next to. He is wonderful, understanding, handsome, a loving and WONDERFUL father, and the love of my life. He sent me the cutest little love letter today. I don't want to share the whole thing, but it did include this little quote that I just wanted to share.

If I could reach up and hold a star for every time you've made me smile, the entire evening sky would be in the palm of my hand. - Anonymous

I feel the same way babe. LOVE YOU!

Under it All

A pretty package
black leather and lace
tied neatly with a satin bow
contents: fragile

pull the ends gently
peel back the layers
exposing scars
that will never fade

remove the demure lace with care
revealing small red letters;
caution: contents extremely hot
handle with care to avoid burns

Pull the lid back gently
un-bind the tape
pull back the wings
and you will find me.

Yeah, I Dunno Either

Felt the overwhelming compulsion to write, but had nothing to say. Here ya go:

She touches her two fingers to her lips softly. Closing her eyes, she allows them to rest there a moment before pursing her lips laying a gentle kiss on them and pressing them softly against his lips while he slept. Retracting her arms beneath the safe surface, she snuggled into the comforter softly. The cool soft sateen pillow case against her cheek, cradled her softly as she attempted to float into the warm night, un-baited by small white circles contained by a child proof lid.

My Favorite Asshole

So, this is mostly an inside joke that only people from my online war game would understand... but this is one of my closest friends from that game. He tends to say the meanest things at the most perfect moment, or had phrases he would use often as retorts....so I started collecting them. Unfortunately, he has decided to leave the game, and I'm terribly sad, especially because my list must end. So, as a going away gift I thought I would use my favorites with anyone that cares. Enjoy:

Desisms

<23:58>[Des]: just wait ash when ur getting attacked ill make sure we will take our good ole time to help u out then

<1:19>[Des]: for the ones who have the troops and sit back and watch see what happens when we sit back and watch ur city get destroyed

<6:7>[Des]: dont worry ill find ur drink u be the first one out

<15:28>[Des]: well start talking

<2:18>From [Des] : its a challegne to me to be the best and to kill everyone

<23:47>[Des]: ok when you really need food bad im not here

<3:27>[Des]: great then im doing something right then

<23:48>[Des]: lets see what would you do without me ok ill recall and let you guys kill millions of your own scouts then

<21:59>[Des]: haven't you figured that out yet

From [Des] : i need resources and food and what better way then to attack vendetta's that are close to us

[Des]: declare first ask question later

<11:47>[Des]: well better be quick or ill beat you to it