My Status Update

I am a child of the technology age, and have embraced it fully, if not whole-heartedly. I have a MySpace page, a Facebook page, play a couple fun online games and of course have an email account. It has occurred to me that without an online existence you actually cease to exist, especially in my current "house mom" situation. I don't have a job, and have two kids so getting out to special events or even to enjoy a single frosty mug of beer has become more than a chore. The only way that I can really keep in touch with the outside world is through my social networking sites, and although I like having some "friends" that I don't talk to often, or old friends I have fallen out of touch with over the years at my fingertips it sometimes seems to me that people are abusing the privilege of having me at their fingertips.

I would like to introduce a new saying for the type of issue I am currently explaining. It is more of a small edit to one that is more than well known. I propose a change from-

If you have nothing nice to say, then don't say anything at all

to

If you have NOTHING to say, then don't say anything at all.

I read the funniest comic strip the other day in reference to what I am talking about. Due to the fact that I don't have the option to paste it into my blog I am going to quote it

"Where have you been? No email, you didn't text me. Not a clue on your blog, you didn't update your status on Facebook. It is like you fell off the earth!"

"Did you not check Twitter?"

"Oops, sorry 'Upstairs, going to the bathroom, be back in five'."

The side ache I got while laughing at this comic strip would possibly have caused me to drown if I had been swimming. Now, I am willing to admit that I am occasionally guilty of the no update update but it should be the exception rather than the rule. When I have 100 people updating information that I need to scroll through (not to mention every app update, which I actually don't mind) I don't need to know that you sneezed. Call me crazy, but it isn't life altering information for me. The even funnier thing is that you will find twenty comments following this update saying, "bless you."

So, in the spirit of fun let's take a look at some of the updates currently taking up space on my news feed. Names, of course removed to protect the guilty.

"I wanna snuggle."

"Please please please don't let what I am thinking happen." - small comment on this is that I hate half a story. I am not a goddamn mind reader and I am certainly not going to break out the crystal ball.

"Wish that Cyber Monday came on payday"

"I'm hungry" -Stop the presses! Someone is hungry, alert the media.

"Totoro and ice cream"

"I need to poo"

Okay, so I actually made that last one up, but it wasn't any different than anything that preceded it. I am actually not going to go any further down the feed or I will never find my pillow, but this is why I prefer the layout of MySpace to Facebook. I can see one status update, or click to see more if I choose. I don't have to sort my way through everyone's stream of consciousness looking for things I would actually care to know about someone. Update and let people know how you're doing, or chit chat about your shows, share something funny or crappy that happened today...or awesome quotes...everyone loves a good quote. I guess a good rule of thumb is, if what you are saying could not be followed with some sort of conversation, don't say it.