Soothes the Savage Beast
You can only lose so many pieces until there is nothing left
I listen to the strings resonate through the air, to dance inside my ears for a moment in time
as though someone is speaking to me
another soul, wrapped and tethered,
and as battered and bruised as my own
nothing a band-aid can't fix.
Brush the sand from my knees
wipe the pain from my face with a single eloquent motion,
but I cannot force myself up between broken breaths and gasps for air.
It's as though I can identify the moment it breaks in my chest,
The chill up my spine, the tightness in my throat.
Not a single soul for miles.
You've encompassed my entire being
in a few strokes of the keys
and a voice that will echo forever.
Tuesday, February 23, 2010
Thursday, February 18, 2010
Top 10 ways to identify that it is time...
Ok, so I'm laying down some ground rules here. Very important ground rules *shakes fist*
Top 10 ways to identify that it is time.... to stop your friend from drinking
10. Your friend is straying from their normal alcohol selection because there is nothing left but the crap.
9. They use terms like "I love you so much," or, "I'm a terrible person."
8. They choose the floor over standing or chairs
7. They then crawl on the floor rather than walking around.
6. They give lapdances (and they aren't a stripper)
5. They receive lap dances (that aren't from a stripper....or a hot chick)
4. They take pictures of themselves with their friends boobs as if they were at Disneyland and the boobs were Mickey Mouse
3. Your friend is on the other end of prior stated situation.
2. They are calling people they talk to daily by the wrong name...(like Melissa for instance).
1. They have a breakdown, complete with self loathing and tears that are usually only worn on those who just watched Steel Magnolias.
If 5-10 is happening to your friend-take away the booze! if 1-4 is happening to your friend either a: find them a ride b: take them home or c: call them a cab. Thank you, that is all.
My Personal Truths of Life
I know every so often, people forward around cheesy emails with stuff like this in them, but these are my own personal truths of life. Some of these are not my own quotes, and some are a little bleak, but they still hold true to me.
* You CAN decide if you're going to have a good day or a bad day, but it's easier said than done
*The people you'll remember most, are those who hurt you.
*Everyone wakes up on the wrong side of the bed once in awhile.
*It's ok to feel completely overwhelmed sometimes, if only for a moment.
*Never trust an honest face, they are usually attached to liars.
*We will never truly "clean up" the environment.
*Everyone cries alone once in awhile. There is nothing wrong with it.
*You will grow apart from some of the people you love the most, and even forget about some of them and what they've meant to you.
*The greatest feeling is to laugh until you cry-and the flip side of that is that sometimes the only way to stop crying is to find something to make you laugh.
*You will never really know someone. Most people are lucky if they really know themselves.
*Life really is too short to hold a grudge.
*It's normal to want what you will never have.
*Whoever said "money can't buy you happiness" has obviously never been flat broke.
*Sometimes help will come from the most unlikely sources when you need it the most.
*Although it makes life hold more meaning to have a religious belief, doesn't make it right.
*Determination is the best quality to posses. With that, all others will fall into place.
*Even your best friend can betray you.
*Even if you aren't going anywhere, you should always dress up for Halloween
Paradelle
Shoving my hatred deeper and deeper
Shoving my hatred deeper and deeper
I pull away from my sanctuary
I pull away from my sanctuary
My sanctuary deeper, shoving deeper
I pull the hatred away and
Peel my rose petals from your lips
Peel my rose petals from your lips
I leave the lies to linger in you
I leave the lies to linger in you
Peel the lies from your rose to linger
in my petals, leaving you
alone in your death
Alone in your death
To drown in the silence that stagnates
To drown in the silence that stagnates
To drown alone in your silence in
the death that stagnates
Shoving your lips in my petals
to linger alone in my rose
peel away from the hatred that stagnates deeper,
I pull deeper leaving your lies to silence
The death....The sanctuary...
to drown in you.
Shoving my hatred deeper and deeper
I pull away from my sanctuary
I pull away from my sanctuary
My sanctuary deeper, shoving deeper
I pull the hatred away and
Peel my rose petals from your lips
Peel my rose petals from your lips
I leave the lies to linger in you
I leave the lies to linger in you
Peel the lies from your rose to linger
in my petals, leaving you
alone in your death
Alone in your death
To drown in the silence that stagnates
To drown in the silence that stagnates
To drown alone in your silence in
the death that stagnates
Shoving your lips in my petals
to linger alone in my rose
peel away from the hatred that stagnates deeper,
I pull deeper leaving your lies to silence
The death....The sanctuary...
to drown in you.
My Subjective Judgement
I writhe and fall again in slow motion
and feed you the cliche life you're expecting:
picket fence, black tie, hopeless romantic, party of four.
We all reside in a box near the overpass,
some boxes just have better curtains and more windows
which marks the contrast between living and existing.
Defined by the contents of our wallets
this civilization, this abomination,
conceals animosity between clean sheets-
a six hundred dollar "egyptian cotton blend."
Freedom in this new millennium is not actually defined by being free,
it's being shackled inside 'American Gothic"
encrusted in Swarovski Crystals, and name brands to keep us blind.
The English language is trapped inside five hundred thousand words
that define us, but mean nothing as we are only equal to our number
that lies between hopelessness and supremacy, or 450 and 850.
A single being's entire existence
is only as crucial as a single wool mitten in the lost and found
at a run down elementary school that lies where 'Nowhere USA' meets 'Rodeo Drive'
Human life is subjective,
and only supreme amidst whispers in polite circles
where relative thinking is an art lost to the ages.
and feed you the cliche life you're expecting:
picket fence, black tie, hopeless romantic, party of four.
We all reside in a box near the overpass,
some boxes just have better curtains and more windows
which marks the contrast between living and existing.
Defined by the contents of our wallets
this civilization, this abomination,
conceals animosity between clean sheets-
a six hundred dollar "egyptian cotton blend."
Freedom in this new millennium is not actually defined by being free,
it's being shackled inside 'American Gothic"
encrusted in Swarovski Crystals, and name brands to keep us blind.
The English language is trapped inside five hundred thousand words
that define us, but mean nothing as we are only equal to our number
that lies between hopelessness and supremacy, or 450 and 850.
A single being's entire existence
is only as crucial as a single wool mitten in the lost and found
at a run down elementary school that lies where 'Nowhere USA' meets 'Rodeo Drive'
Human life is subjective,
and only supreme amidst whispers in polite circles
where relative thinking is an art lost to the ages.
Lyric in Verse
Bring it with you or don't, but save a piece for me.
This nervous reaction, is what I come back to,
as I stutter through each moment.
It always comes back to this.
The song skips, stuck on a single lyric
we will never escape from.
It's running your fingers down a brick wall,
in a room with no windows
just ten lonely square feet.
Describe it in words only a child would understand,
but it's always the same melody
concealed by false covenants...
the vagaries of life.
Our presience should be trusted,
as gut feeling ignored, can alter which piece you take,
or which note will repeat itself in hopeless redundancy.
Take care which piece you choose.
This nervous reaction, is what I come back to,
as I stutter through each moment.
It always comes back to this.
The song skips, stuck on a single lyric
we will never escape from.
It's running your fingers down a brick wall,
in a room with no windows
just ten lonely square feet.
Describe it in words only a child would understand,
but it's always the same melody
concealed by false covenants...
the vagaries of life.
Our presience should be trusted,
as gut feeling ignored, can alter which piece you take,
or which note will repeat itself in hopeless redundancy.
Take care which piece you choose.
Lost
*This is a poetry piece, if you couldn't tell
I let it slip away for a single fold in time
only to find it's been missing all along.
Compress it to a single moment,
the realization that you've lost control.
Pulling the skin from beneath my nails
to understand I stand alone
to understand the scars are mine
and they have been there all along.
To think I had escaped was infantile
and empty in this trust,
and I could beg and plead,
and squeeze the juice from it
as if it were ripened fruit...
but still it stands un-phased,
like it were pointing and laughing
with bony fingers of truth,
wrapped in lies,
confronted by time
but missed it's mark.
As I have missed my mark a million times
standing inches from it
but light years away.
As though a single breath would freeze in the wind
to reach this fold in time
I will not be mistaken.
I let it slip away for a single fold in time
only to find it's been missing all along.
Compress it to a single moment,
the realization that you've lost control.
Pulling the skin from beneath my nails
to understand I stand alone
to understand the scars are mine
and they have been there all along.
To think I had escaped was infantile
and empty in this trust,
and I could beg and plead,
and squeeze the juice from it
as if it were ripened fruit...
but still it stands un-phased,
like it were pointing and laughing
with bony fingers of truth,
wrapped in lies,
confronted by time
but missed it's mark.
As I have missed my mark a million times
standing inches from it
but light years away.
As though a single breath would freeze in the wind
to reach this fold in time
I will not be mistaken.
Thursday, February 4, 2010
My Lost Hope
I am at a complete loss on what to do, which is new territory for me, when it comes to someone else anyway. I always seem to have an answer, some advice or at the very least a witty retort when it comes to someone elses' problems. I will have to remain vague for obvious reasons...but what do you do when you see someone that is seriously struggling and you are completely powerless to help them?
She was vibrant, and amazing when we first became friends. She had ambitions, dreams, and an attitude to contend with, very close to her family and friends and very down to earth. Eight years later I see nothing left of the friend, confident, and partner in crime I had found so long ago. It seems that a handful of difficult experiences has lead her to drown herself in bad decisions, and whatever she can find that comes with a childproof lid.
As a friend, you want to be there for someone in their time in need. You want to be that shoulder to cry on, or their last resort for a ride if they need it. When does this become enabling? Am I giving them what they need to stay sick? I feel like I am watching a close friend with a terminal illness die slowly...and it is killing me. The only difference is that I know there is a cure for this, but it remains just out of reach. Everyone I talk to, gives me the same suggestion which is completely impossible at this point in time. How do you help someone that cannot, and will not help themselves alone? I guess only time will tell.
She was vibrant, and amazing when we first became friends. She had ambitions, dreams, and an attitude to contend with, very close to her family and friends and very down to earth. Eight years later I see nothing left of the friend, confident, and partner in crime I had found so long ago. It seems that a handful of difficult experiences has lead her to drown herself in bad decisions, and whatever she can find that comes with a childproof lid.
As a friend, you want to be there for someone in their time in need. You want to be that shoulder to cry on, or their last resort for a ride if they need it. When does this become enabling? Am I giving them what they need to stay sick? I feel like I am watching a close friend with a terminal illness die slowly...and it is killing me. The only difference is that I know there is a cure for this, but it remains just out of reach. Everyone I talk to, gives me the same suggestion which is completely impossible at this point in time. How do you help someone that cannot, and will not help themselves alone? I guess only time will tell.
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