My Momentary Lapse of Reason

So, I was scrolling down my Facebook updates today when I came across a page a friend of mine had become a fan of. I don't usually become a fan of many things on Facebook due to the ultimate spam attacks they tend to launch on my news feed, but I felt compelled to click the link because I was thoroughly intrigued. It read, "Hardest Riddle Ever!!!" Please note there was not only one, or two, but three exclamation points there, that's what really drew me in. I am also a total sucker for riddles. I thought I would check it out. Once the page pulled up it read:

WORLD'S HARDEST RIDDLE

99% of Harvard students couldn't figure this out, but 87% of kinder-gardeners could in 6 minutes or less.

I turn polar bears white
and I will make you cry.
I make guys have to pee
and girls comb their hair.
I make celebrities look stupid
and normal people look like celebrities.
I turn pancakes brown
and make your champagne bubble.
If you squeeze me, I'll pop.
If you look at me, you'll pop.

Due to a few of the questions my first thought was sunlight, or the sun but I couldn't really associate it to every example provided in the riddle. After about five or ten minutes of looking this over I decided to employ the ever brilliant Google to help me out. I found this posted in several forums with people seeking answers or opinions as to the answer of the riddle....I also found a single line that was left out of the original riddle I had located on Facebook. The next piece I found read:

I turn polar bears white
and I will make you cry.
I make guys have to pee
and girls comb their hair.
I make celebrities look stupid
and normal people look like celebrities.
I turn pancakes brown
and make your champagne bubble.
If you squeeze me, I'll pop.
If you look at me, you'll pop.
Can you guess the riddle?

The last line was left out of the original riddle I had located. Looking through all the potential answers plastered all over every single forum on the web I picked a couple of my favorite where you could tell people put a lot of thought into the question.

"I think Its air

I turn polar bears white (cold air)
and I will make you cry. (cold air)
I make guys have to pee (cold air)
and girls comb their hair. (air)
I make celebrities look stupid (cold air)
and normal people look like celebrities. (air)
I turn pancakes brown (hot air)
and make your champagne bubble. (air in the bubbles)
If you squeeze me, I'll pop. (air in like a balloon)
If you look at me, you'll pop. (im not sure about this one maybe your ears pop)
Can you guess the riddle?"

Interesting theory, air or wind. I could see that working. One of the better one's I found was this piece:

"It's got to be pressure.
Polar bears are white because the pressure at the poles is low, so they have to be able to absorb heat.
Pressure makes you cry if it's too much.
Pressure in your bladder makes you have to pee.
Peer pressure makes girls comb their hair...Otherwise we wouldn't bother!
Celebrities usually crack under pressure.
Many normal people will shine under pressure.
Pancakes turn brown thanks to pressure generated by the heat.
Champagne will bubble until the pressure of the carbonation has disappeared.
If you squeeze something under pressure, BAM, there it goes."

I thought the logic was very good in this answer and bravo to whoever this deep thinker is. The problem with these two answers is that no kinder-gardener is going to think about the pressure in the North Pole, or about the air in the affecting the color (or lack their of) in a polar bear's fur. I really think that if I had read the question in it's entirety in the first place I would've figured this out on my own, but I cannot take credit for it. The point of it is to look at the piece in it's entirety and think of this as if you were a child. If someone were to ask you "Can you guess the riddle?" what would your answer be?

My answer would be "No."

If we were to base this on the fact that kinder-gardeners answered the riddle in six minutes, this would be the answer they would produce in it's most simplistic form. After I came to grips that this was the answer to the riddle and kinda gave a good "Oh! I get it, got me there riddle!" the rabbit hole deepens.

I was speaking online with another friend of mine whose internet search skills are for superior to my own, he produced the answer "time." I tried telling him I couldn't see how time could work with all of the answers, and then he sent me this poem he had come across. I would give credit to the author, but unfortunately I don't know who it is. Please read below, and reference it back to the original riddle.

The time has come,
winter is here
and those yellow bears disappear.

The time has past
as man looks back with a sigh
and a tear is his eye

As time is held
boys cross their legs
but of course the toilet begs

As time marches on
Girls loose their blush
and swap a comb for their brush

As time passes
For those held high
their end is nigh

As time catches up
Everyone is equal
when we get to the final sequel

As time turns
Without it we have flour and water
With it we have breakfast for my daughter
As time revolves
How does one turn water and wine
into something so fine

As time runs out
The more in a minute you try to squeeze
the less you can do with ease

As time ticks
All the time that has past
man cannot comprehend something so vast

So now this, to me anyway, seems to beg the metaphorical question "which came first, the chicken or the egg?" This seems to be an older style of poetry to me, so I would guess that the riddle itself would be based off this piece. If that is the case, then 90% of the smart ass people on every forum that said "Duh, the answer is no" would be completely incorrect. The answer, in fact, would be time. What's your take on this?

URL: http://able2know.org/topic/72848-1