My Favorite Asshole

So, this is mostly an inside joke that only people from my online war game would understand... but this is one of my closest friends from that game. He tends to say the meanest things at the most perfect moment, or had phrases he would use often as retorts....so I started collecting them. Unfortunately, he has decided to leave the game, and I'm terribly sad, especially because my list must end. So, as a going away gift I thought I would use my favorites with anyone that cares. Enjoy:

Desisms

<23:58>[Des]: just wait ash when ur getting attacked ill make sure we will take our good ole time to help u out then

<1:19>[Des]: for the ones who have the troops and sit back and watch see what happens when we sit back and watch ur city get destroyed

<6:7>[Des]: dont worry ill find ur drink u be the first one out

<15:28>[Des]: well start talking

<2:18>From [Des] : its a challegne to me to be the best and to kill everyone

<23:47>[Des]: ok when you really need food bad im not here

<3:27>[Des]: great then im doing something right then

<23:48>[Des]: lets see what would you do without me ok ill recall and let you guys kill millions of your own scouts then

<21:59>[Des]: haven't you figured that out yet

From [Des] : i need resources and food and what better way then to attack vendetta's that are close to us

[Des]: declare first ask question later

<11:47>[Des]: well better be quick or ill beat you to it

My God Damn, Mother Fucking, Piece of Shit Point

The English language is comprised of about 30,000 words.....give or take a few ;) Now.... most words are considered important for communication, some are rarely if ever used, and some are considered slang... Then you have inappropriate words, and "swear words." What is a swear word? Who decided that out of all the words in the English language, these ones were THE MOST inappropriate? Also, with that....somewhere along the line we managed to draw a line to some swear words that were worse than others.

FUCK... for instance, and all variations of FUCK, seem to have raised themselves to the top of the list of inappropriate ways to express ones thoughts and opinions. Here is a list, of what I see to be swear words in their list, from most inappropriate, on down the line.

FUCK
SHIT
DAMN
ASS
BITCH
and, if taken in vein.... GOD

These...are the main six. There are also words for genitalia that I am going to go ahead and leave out.... because I can understand how calling someone a "dickhead" might be offensive, because it is actually calling someone a penis, lol. Now, of course there are several variations of the above listed four...asshole....shithead... and so on and so forth. All of the variations are also considered bad words.

Some argue that they have some old deep rooted meaning in the dawns of written word that might inspire an adverse reaction to them. If this is the case, then why are the substitutes for these words acceptable? They mean the exact, same thing, and are even meant to mimic these words in common language, and somehow those are acceptable?

FUCK= FRICK, FUDGE
SHIT= CRAP, SHOOT
DAMN= DARN, DANG
ASS= BUTT (aka BUTT HOLE, BUTTHEAD)
BITCH= BRAT
GOD= GOSH

So.... basically we could take the sentence: "My God Damn, Mother Fucking, Piece of Shit Point," and make it completely socially acceptable to the norm by changing around a few things. Let me demonstrate, using the diagram above.... *clears throat* "My Gosh Darn, Mother Frickin', Piece of Crap Point."

Really? Says the same thing..... different words... same meaning. Why is the above sentence taboo, while the following is completely fine? Food for thought. Annoys the fuckin' shit out of me though... ;)

My Adventures into Psychosis

Exhibit C:

So last week I was sent on an....involuntary mental vacation. They kept calling it a vacation, but my idea of a "mental vacation" would include me, in the Marriot... swimsuit in one hand and a mimosa in the other..... not a 2 inch foam mattress, no shampoo, no shoes, in a room with a camera.

Now, the events that led up to this moment are really rather....moot, to say the least... the point is I was stuck in a very small enclosure in which I couldn't smoke, the food was....not even food, and everyone else was ten times crazier than me. Needless to say this was a little bit of an ego stroke realizing I was the most sane person in the room for a change!

Anyway... it was the most productive experience that I hated every single second of. I met some really interesting people, took a break from my stresses and got a much needed fresh perspective on things. I retain the idea that this could have been achieved another way.... i.e. said vacation above. Either way, that cigarette I smoked when I got out was almost symbolic. I FINALLY walked out the locked double doors, ripped the nicotine patch off my shoulder, and threw it to the ground with a vengeance. I lit that cigarette and gently took the first drag. To me... that moment is really a metaphor for what I gained... what I left behind and I have to look forward to.

Quelude You

A fullness now emptied
papers and prayers
scattered to the wind
visible for all to see.

An emptiness is soothed
drowned with official signatures
controlled substances
still visible for all to see.

A soothing face turned to the sun
full of "never were"s
broken hearts
"and all that could have been's

A sun representing a hope
to be filled again
with rights...normality
all my heart should desire

So why then
does this hope
feel like I'm trying to swallow
the fire of a thousand, nay a million
could have, should have, and may have been's...